It was the kind of night horror films are made of. His morning was bleak, the afternoon oppressive, the evening dull and now…..this. And he was in a mood that was no better. Contemplating now before the slightly distorted mirror, he was mad, afraid.
That morning’s routine passed in a blur of reflexes. Dressed in his best office attire, he hurriedly ate his breakfast and flew off to work. Arriving there, he was mobbed by the usual circle of boring faces, sniffing him like goddamned dogs.
“Uy, where’ve you been lately?”
“Look at you! You look like hell at best!”
“Why were you absent? We needed you for the reception of the Manila VIPs.”
“Our bosings are fuming like crazy!”
Which they were, he found out much too soon. The usual tired questions, advice he thought was too shallow, the lot. Yet he kept his cool; ask-me-no-questions-and-I-tell- you-no-lies attitude obvious. But deep inside, the fire was fanned. He was called by the HR Manager and the Accounting Department Head. Everybody seemed to notice him all at once and it disgusted him.
The morning gave way to the afternoon. And just when he thought he was going to have some air, his parents confronted him with the news that they knew of his politely-termed misdemeanors. And boy, did they make a fuss over it. Especially that one over smoking, drinking, and endangering his job in these times of crises. On the verge of tears, he went to a friend, his best friend.
“The gift of life is a gift of tears and laughter”, began his friend, who probably had illusions of being the male Oprah.
“I haven’t laughed in a million years.”
“That’s crap and you know it. There’s no harm in running away,” droned his friend, “provided you know what you’re running toward”.
“I was afraid of staying where I was. Anything was better,” he drawled back. All the while, he was thinking that someone somewhere was scripting this cliché-ridden conversation. It was like the Book of Proverbs was talking to Famous Sayings.
“Just what is it that they make you do, anyway?”
“The right things.”
“What’s wrong with – “the right things”?”
“Nothing; what I hate is that they expect no less!”
“Doesn’t matter. You go back now, say you’re sorry…..”
“I won’t, I can’t.”
“…..and everything’s gonna be okay, right? Be a good boy, now go!”
So now, crying before the foggy mirror, he was shocked at what he saw. Flared nostrils, bloodshot eyes, contorted grin. Sinister, he thought. But also alarmingly calm.
His hand clasped upon a gun. It came from he cannot remember where. Everything flooded upon him in an instant. They may be right but what they did not know was that he was a very lonely man, lost, confused, angry and rotting…..
He looked at his watch, realized it was midnight. A smile captured his face as he started to realize that he had been surrounded by communities of people the whole time but that they did not notice him in their happiness. Maybe just as well…..
The church bells tolled, angelic choirs rejoiced, children caroled. When nothing more is left to lose, even tears…..
He pointed the nuzzle at his head, thought that he read somewhere that this was not the right way to do it but was past caring, smiled and gently pulled the trigger…..
B A N G !
Merry Christmas.
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